On Powering Through

I set my pack down and took a deep breath.  This is gonna suck, I thought.

I inched closer to the wall, trying blend in to my surroundings.  In this type of operation, remaining unobserved is critical.  The target is not an issue – you know what’s going down, and they’ll find out soon enough.  Sometimes the target wants this type of confrontation, anyway.  It’s the people close to the target that are variables you can’t control.  Some doctrines suggest allowing the target to escape if the situation is unfavorable for engagement, and I was operating that way due to local conditions.

I ran the plan through my mind again.  This operation had been in the works for a month, and I was terrified of fucking it up.  I was visualizing the primary and secondary egress routes with my eyes shut when I recognized the target’s distinct voice around the corner.  No mistaking that voice – not after all the direct and indirect intel I’d gathered.  I took a turkey-look around the corner for a quick visual confirmation.  I half-hoped I’d see something that warranted an abort, but conditions were favorable.  This, as they say, was motherfucking it.

My mouth tasted like copper.

My abdominal muscles clenched.

My right knee quivered like it always does when I’m scared.

I stepped around the corner.

The target locked eyes with me.

Blood pounded in my ears.

I unstuck my tongue from the roof of my mouth.

“Hi Melanie!” I croaked.  “Will you go to Homecoming with me?”

__________________________________________________________

That’s a true story, by the way.  All the tactical high-speed bullshit words got crammed in to my head several years later, but the rest of it is 100% truth.  It can really be that fucking scary to ask a girl out – believe me, I know.

It doesn’t have to be, though.

What you need is practice.

Start small. The next time you get coffee from a cute barista, ask her the time. Just a simple,”Hey – do you know what time it is? Okay, thanks!”  Ask her one question not normally associated with buying a cup of joe.

Go to the mall, find a cute sales-girl, and ask her to help you pick something out.  If I was doing this exercise I’d look for a nice dress shirt, because I’m fashion-challenged. That’s fine, because I will Gamejitsu my hypofashionemia into a demonstration of higher value.

Watch:

“Hi there.” eye contact and smile “You look like a person that knows about shirts.  Listen –  I’m an expert in advanced cardiac life support.  I know all about car crashes and broken bones and gunshot wounds.  That stuff comes easy to me.  But shirts….they’ve always been a mystery.  Help me out here.  How many sleeves do you usually recommend?”

That’s it – you’re off and running.  It doesn’t matter what you’re an expert in – accounting, 13th Century Welsh nobility, prolactinomas – whatever.  Pick something you’re good at and mention it.  It’ll pump you up subconsciously.  Then admit a stultifying ignorance – ignorance so exaggerated she knows you’re pulling her leg a bit.  Keep your tone friendly, maintain reasonable eye contact and open body language, and smile.  She’ll laugh.

Then, just let her do her thing.  Ask a few questions about the merchandise. Go with her recommendation, thank her for her help (eye contact and smile), and buy it.

Now, stay all-business with these girls – they’re there to do a job, not to be creeped on. If she shoves a number into your hand while the boss isn’t looking, you take it with my blessing – and skip the rest of this article.  You don’t need my help.  For the rest of you – Rome wasn’t built in a day.  Don’t make some working stiff’s day any harder – and yes, she’s a working stiff no matter what she looks like.  We’ll get to BJs in backrooms later.

Even though these girls aren’t going to blow you in the stockroom, you can get something out of the interaction.  Pay attention, and they will help you realize something:

To a certain extent, we all act out roles for strangers and people we don’t know well.  The girl who’s going to sell you a shirt is playing the part of Apparel Technician #2, and your part is Fashion Challenged Dood #4.

As such, there are accepted scripts to follow, and certain guidelines that keep you “in character”. If you deviate too far off script, you’re thought of as creepy/awkward. Think about what an actor playing a part would do in your shoes, and do that.  Embrace it.  Take courage in the role – to her, you really are Fashion Challenged Dood #4.  She doesn’t know you used to eat paste in 3rd grade, or that you’re a virgin, or insecure about your dick size.  Fashion Challenged Dood #4 doesn’t have those problems, so when you’re in his shoes, you don’t have those problems.  Wipe that paste off your face before you go in the store, please.

Do this until the “Holy Jumping Jesus! I’m talking to a hot girl! And she is motherfucking talking back to me!  Guys!  Guys! Do you see this shit, guys!” feeling in your gut goes away.

This will help you internalize the fact that women (even girls you like) are just people. Even the coolest, smartest, funniest, sexiest woman in the universe is just another person. Hell, when it comes down to biology, she’s basically identical to me.  No shit.  All you guys with tight Game reading along can think about that this weekend while you’re banging some dimepiece.  No thanks is necessary, gents.  I live to serve.

Anyway, there’s no good goddamned reason you can’t relate to me or her.  There’s absolutely nothing special about either one of us. You’ve just got to find the common ground with each and go from there – and every single person on Earth has some kind of common ground with you.  Think hard enough and you’ll find it.  It’s there.

The “acting trick” is a mental crutch to make that easier. You can (and should) drop it as you become more practiced at reading subtle social cues, and get more comfortable in your own skin.

Good luck, gents.  Try it.  And don’t buy any three sleeved shirts.  It’s after Labor Day and you’ll look unfashionable.

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23 thoughts on “On Powering Through

  1. Very good point about not creeping out. Sometimes they will touch you, though. Be ready.

    Last week I was having drinks with some friends in a booth. I engaged the waitress a bit, who was very young, but not particularly cute. Like most waitresses, her eyes lit up when I started up and harmlessly flirted.

    At the end of the night, she asked if I wanted another drink, to I replied “twist my arm” (in my standard “I’m completely bullshitting you, and you know it” voice) and barely raised my left arm a bit, for effect.

    Well… she practically lunged across the table to actually grab my arm, nearly knocking my friend on the outside seat.

    Spread some happiness to the workers – most customers are jerks or indifferent.

  2. “Hi Melanie!” I croaked. “Will you go to Homecoming with me?”

    Wow, that sounds so awkward, but at least you did it. I didn’t even ask a single girl out in high school. I had a huge fear of rejection.

    Good point by OffTheCuff. A server enjoys her job way more when you provide some kind of entertainment to her otherwise utterly boring and manual labor job. My cousin is a little autistic and sometimes pretty socially inept, but he always has something interesting to say or joke with the server about. He’s also a fat, balding white dude, but he just doesn’t care what people think of him and comes up with some pretty funny stuff. His delivery is so good that even if the waitress doesn’t think what he said is funny or she doesn’t understand it, she’s still not put off.

  3. Glad you are putting all this out for everyone to see. You really do have a way of communicating that appeals to a wide audience.

    I’m hoping for much success for you and this blog. I really think something like this is necessary to start “rounding up” the men that are red pill aware, but aren’t ready to or willing to go full on PUA/MRA/”grab a rifle and hit the front lines”. There is plenty of info out there for guys, but to be honest the presentation has much to be desired IMO. It is mostly a collection of extremes, and anyone that thinks about it realizes that the solution is rarely the extreme. It is much more likely to be a compromise between the extremes that resolves the issue. There are lots of guys in the beta extreme, and going to the PUA extreme won’t really solve their problems. Finding balance in the middle is key, and of anyone I’ve seen on the ‘sphere, you seem to be able to find that place with ease. Pass it on man, we can really use it.

  4. “But shirts….they’ve always been a mystery. Help me out here. How many sleeves do you usually recommend?”

    Lots of setup for an incredibly weak joke. If I guy said the “sleeves” line to me, I’d feel sorry for him, maybe try to force a smile, and immediately forget about him. Leave out the “sleeves” line and you’d be in much better shape. It just doesn’t work when spoken out loud. It’s fake…and it doesn’t work to make fun of her job/expertise when you REALLY DO need help shopping.

    Other than that? Great post.

    • That’s because you have a pathological aversion to sleeves, as evidenced by your avatar picture. Just because your answer is always “ZERO SLEEVES!” doesn’t mean the rest of us live our lives the same way. Fascist.

      So, gents – you now have an experiment to perform if you wish:

      I’ve done this in real life and gotten a laugh out of it. Maya hypothetically thinks something different. Feel free to post your experience here. Teach the rest of us. No hypotheticals – do it for real.

  5. I did approaches like that for a long time and I continue to do them. It definitely built my confidence and was fun. However, they rarely turned into “sales” (ha ha). I might get a fake number or a no call back. I got most play on the internet. But the girls I wanted to be with that I saw in my everyday life wouldn’t bite. I perhaps chatted up the younger ones (I’m almost 40) but not exclusively.

    The internet frequently gave me desperate, weird, or less attractive possibilities, but they turned into sex and relationships, brief as they were.

    I would love to meet girlfriends or even short term girls on the street like this, it just never worked for me. I am very funny and in descent shape so what do I know.

    • Sign up for a college class. I’m still plowing through an undergrad (was military for a long time, then went to a community college for some medical certs) so I’m easily 10 years older than my classmates. It’s a great opportunity to meet women I’d never run into during my day-to-day. Plus, you’ve got way more time to run Social Circle Game, which I like much more than other forms.

      Usually the night classes skew older on average, but there’s still a good amount of attractive women there. Seriously – look into it. Even if you don’t meet anybody, you can learn about something you like. Win-Win.

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