Over the next few posts I’m going to lay some foundations. These are things I think are important for the newly Red-Pilled Man to understand. Some of them are not nice. There are no quick fixes for any of them. Gimmicks will work for a short time, or give you a glimmer of hope, but I’m not interested in that. I want you to get what you want, long term. So here’s the first sermon:
Remember what happened the first time you went off to college, or deployed, or visited Grandma over the summer? You came back home and things were…..different.
There was a new stoplight at that intersection. Johnny’s mom got a new car. Sarah fucked Billy and now her car’s outside his apartment every night. Old Man Yi got killed in a robbery and his son Little Yi is running the liquor store.
For many of us, the first time we return home from an extended absence is the first realization that people actually have separate lives. Instead of seeing only your future stretching out in front of you, an awareness creeps in of thousands of other futures moving forward, all at the same pace. They intertwine, intersect, or swerve away from your future, never to be seen again. Stuff happened while you were gone. It still does.
Keep that in mind. If you’re naturally a bit narcissistic, or have a tendency toward solipsism, it’s easy to forget.
“But…but…but Dogsquat! I’m not a narcissist!” you retort.
Yeah, we all are to some degree. A little narcissism is a good thing. Without it, you could never show up to a job interview, or stand up to a bully, or argue with a stranger over the internet about how non-narcissistic you are.
I think this facet of humanity is where a lot of guys get into trouble with women.
Say you’re pining over a girl – she’s beautiful and cool and into the same weird shit you are – you spend a lot of time thinking about her. You imagine a future together or wonder what she’s like in bed.
Well, she ain’t doing that. Her life is separate from yours. Her thread may cross yours a few times in the Marvelous Rug Of Life, but it’s not twined intimately with your thread, no matter how much you’d like it to be. For the most part, people aren’t thinking about you when you’re not right in front of them.
If you pin your hopes for happiness or booty or whatever on some chick, you’re going to let all kinds of bizarre thinking creep in.
That girl you met at the bar? Not thinking about you right now.
That cute chick that sits next to you in Cell Biology? Not thinking about you right now.
The ex you’d like to get back together with? Yup, you guessed it – not thinking about you right now, either.
Why am I repeating this depressing fact of life so many times?
Because it’s superfuckingimportant.
One of the fundamental principles of Game is called Outcome Independence. It is not talked about often, but it’s one of the most powerful tools you posses. If your happiness is truly independent from the outcome of an interaction with a woman, you’re halfway to where you want to be. You won’t fall for little shit tests, appear too desperate, or sink into mini-depressions when she doesn’t text/doesn’t come over/won’t go home with you. You might not even notice the little landmines girls lay in your path, because you’re skipping right past them.
If you pursue this principle, along with a few other things, you may find desirable women chasing you.
And Gents – it is impossible to be Outcome Independent if you’re pining away over a girl who isn’t thinking about your ass anyway. There are many ways to discipline the mind in this regard. Sometime down the road I’ll share mine.
Until then, here’s an easy fix:
Every time you think about a specific girl when she’s not there, or how much you’d like a girl in your life, do 20 push-ups. Seriously – walk away from the group and pound ’em out. If you’re in bed and your mind drifts, roll onto the floor and beat your face 20 times. Studying? Working? No excuse – bash ’em out ASAP.
There are times, of course, when a girl is thinking about you. Until you fully internalize (I mean live it, not fake it) this principle, odds are it’s not the girl you want thinking about you, or it is the girl you want, but she’s not thinking anything good.
So start pushing, Gents.
Feel free to expand on Outcome Independence in the comments if you have tips or anecdotes to share.