Some of you may realize what a (sometimes) ridiculous romantic I am from reading my posts around the blogosphere. I’m the whole goofy package – I’ve fallen in love at first sight and stayed with that girl for 5 years. I’ve written girls poetry (years ago, but still). I go into my present girlfriend’s closet and put lovey/sexy notes in the pockets of her hanging clothes so she finds them days later – that’s how “bad” I am now. I used to be worse.
I was In. Love. with a girl once. It was my first time, and it was intense.
I came back from the Sandbox, and she was 6 months pregnant. I’d been away for longer than that. Math sucks, sometimes.
I very nearly killed myself. I was so miserable and depressed for about a year and a half that I barely remember that time passing. I believed with every fiber of my being that the rest of my life was certain to be grey and cold, a shitty blurred Polaroid of something meant for 3D IMAX.
There would never be another.
The Universe had issued me my ration of PERFECT LOVE, Model # M35A2 Quantity 1 (one) each, 0 (ZERO) REFILLS.
Then I’d gone off to the desert and lost it.
It was gone.
I was so depressed, miserable, and angry that even my own mother didn’t like being around me. Here’s a direct quote:
“I love you. You’re my son and I always will…but I don’t like you very much right now. Some part of you is still over there, and the rest is with HER. I’m scared for you.”
That snapped me out of it a bit, and I went and got some help. I thought most of my problems were war shit, but probably 60% of the stuff I talked about with the therapist was about my ex-girlfriend. That was actually surprising to me.
About this time, I started working as a bouncer, got back into Krav, and going to school part time. I read some David DeAngelo. I dated some girls. And then….
Guess what happened?
I fell in love with a girl who loved me back.
It felt like a new lease on life. Hope returned.
I stayed with that girl for a year and a bit. When I ended it, I was depressed. The situation sucked, and I had to move out of my apartment quickly.
I stayed single on purpose for several months to clear my head….and then I got right back into it.
I didn’t love either girl more or less – the difference was that I had incontrovertible, empiric proof of ThereWillAlwaysBeAnotherWoman. That little law of nature saved me from more years of depression and misery. All I had to do to start the machinery of TWABAW working was stay in shape, pursue my interests, and keep running my own weird version of Game on girls I thought had potential. The Universe takes care of everything else.
In a way, I’m grateful for the experience. I know in my bones that there will always be another woman. This is probably the most powerful Game tool I posses.
TWABAW doesn’t care if you believe or not – it’s a law of nature. Invoke it by getting in shape, pursuing your interests, and chatting up girls you like. It’ll be operating on you before you know it.
Yours in Former Suicidal Oneitis,
Dogsquat, 5th Assistant Vice President
Stamp Out Oneitis Foundation of America
13550 North Highway 93
Las Vegas, NV 89124