This took longer than I wanted to post, mostly due to the denizens of my fair city attempting to die a lot. Makes for an unpredictable schedule, does ol’ Death. I’d lodge a complaint, but that Dude creeps me out when he turns His attention toward me. I just collect the overtime and shut up about the extra hours.
Awright, before we get started –
This shit is not The Way, The Truth, and The Light. It is a collection of concepts you should consider carefully. It all applies to some degree, but no human being is exactly the same as another. We all balance on a meniscus of habits, desires, drives, and pathology. No curve is precisely the same – but everybody’s bent. Okay? Okay.
In the first part of this Sermon, I advised the newly Red Pilled Man to let go of his preconceptions about what women like.
So….what do women like from men?
Here are some basics, in no particular order:
1. Women want to be stimulated.
Stimulation in this context is not objectively “good” or “bad” – it’s merely a stimulus that evokes thought or feeling. This can mean verbal fencing, listening to interesting/funny stories you tell, or doing some activity. It can also mean engaging in a contest of wills. It sometimes means thinking about men/you – whether fantasizing, worrying, playing matchmaker, stalking other women on your Facebook (stop it, Katie, we broke up a long time ago), etc.
Relationships figure prominently in women’s status/identities and the stimulation she gets from them is very important to her.
2. Women want to feel sexy.
There is a lot of nuance and individual variation to this. Women want to be desired by men/a man they find desireable themselves. Jane Doe doesn’t give a shit what BillyBob the itinerant, meth-addled garbageman thinks of her ass. She considers him “creepy”, – the only enjoyment she gets from BillyBob’s Epic Ode To Her Glutes is to affirm that she’s out of his league.
A woman who’s in touch with her sexuality also enjoys using it to influence her environment. For some women, that means making hubby’s Dockers tight by wearing that one nightie for him. Other women like getting into the VIP/bottle service area of the club due to their Awesome Bew-bage.
3. Women want to feel deserved.
This is distinct from feeling taken advantage of. Ye Hoary Olde Saying “Rank hath it’s privileges” applies here. Every woman has a core identity, a way she views herself. From this view she derives her social status. This core identity feels like it deserves certain attributes in a man. If more “man” is available – hey, great! – but less “man” will not be tolerated for long, if at all. A dude who barely makes the grade will be tolerated only grudgingly.
This principle is perhaps more mutable than others, and bears careful consideration by men. The core identity changes over time, therefore the “man she deserves” often changes as well. This identity is subject to influence by extrinsic factors (I’m prettier than that bitch….right!!?!?) and events like childbirth, health, and the appearance (gasp!) of that first grey hair.
The most important and influential extrinsic factor operating on a woman in a relationship is her significant other – but he is emphatically not the only factor. Do not forget that, gents.
4. Women want to feel secure.
This feeling has many manifestations. Security can come in the form of a social support net, money, love, a good family, or confidence in the ability of her significant other to deal with problems. The less perceived ability a woman has to influence her environment (either directly or indirectly), the less security she will feel. The more her significant other behaves how she feels he should, the more secure she will feel.
Perhaps the most important thing for the Newly Red Pilled Man to notice about these things is that they all occur inside the woman’s head. None of this stuff is directly related to who you actually are or what you do, gents. Getting women to treat you like a Badass is easier if you are, in fact, badass, but that’s not what we’re talking about here. How she feels about you is the critical vulnerability. Her feelings are what fuel her actions. If you want to influence her behavior, you must be cognizant of them.
It’s also important to point out that some of these principles can conflict with each other. For example, a woman may feel less secure watching her man be hit on by another woman. She’s stimulated – there is definitely cognitive and emotional activity elicited. If the man handles the situation Gamefully, she will then feel desired (sexy) and have her social status reinforced positively (deserved).
The relative importance of these principles is also dependent on context. A woman you just met in a bar is looking for a combination of the first three, with security a distant fourth.
Matter of fact, if she’s yelling, “Security!” you’re about to have a Real Bad Night. A pregnant wife, on the other hand, is going to value security very highly.
Rather than seeing these principles as contradictions, it’s more useful to imagine them as competing forces that must be balanced. Pay careful attention to the balance of stimulation and security, in particular. Think of an aircraft – the pilot must manage lift, thrust, weight, and drag. Neglecting any of these forces is where smoking holes
in the ground come from (fact!).
In some later Sermons we’ll discuss how you can effect these things. In the mean time, feel free to argue/teach/learn/discuss in the comments. I’m heartened and gratified by the discussion that’s taken place here already – you folks kick ass.