Update

Haven’t talked to DS in a minute. I’m going to assume he’s just busy with work, but truth is- I have no clue. He’s very big on keeping readers informed thusly my updating the page.

But, to be on the safe side, assume this blog is closed if you see this update. If this site continues it will be because DS starts posting again. I will be doing no further updates. I know DS appreaciates your reading.

 

stay up.

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Cleared Hot

PogSquat is still alive, he was just on vacation. Please desist with email’s. Your favorite Marine Blogger is just fine. Got a text and he should post again in a few. Actually he told me exactly when he’s going to post, but I’ve decided i’m NOT going to share.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

As you were.

Dickbag, Reporting for Duty!

Hi there…uh…is this thing still on?

First of all, thanks for checking back in.  Second, thanks to DannyFrom504 for putting those posts up.  Everybody should make friends with a Navy Corpsman – they’re fucking good people.

Sorry about the long absence.  Some of you folks know I work in EMS.  It’s a good gig most times, and I honestly don’t know what else I’d do for a living.  Unfortunately, the area I live has been on the evening news waaayyyy too much lately. That means lots of dumbass ambalamps drivers like me are fighting Darwin tooth-and-nail.  I wish I didn’t need my anonymity so much – I’ve seen some Interesting Things lately.  It’s been a stark reminder of how beautiful, ugly, heroic, giving, selfish, cunning, and just plain stupid the human animal is.  I’ve been shaking my head in amazement a lot these days.

Hopefully things get back to normal around here.  We need it.  I want to sleep in my own bed regularly, and maybe put up a blog post once in awhile, too.

I started writing a big ol’ post about how we’re all three missed meals away from being animals, and the general dog-eat-dog nature of The Universe.  In reading over it, I realized two things:

1. Telling normal people horror stories isn’t nice or helpful.
2. I need to take a week off and go surfing.

I’ve got about five things I want to write about.  Right now my brain is too full of blood and fire and death to be much good at it.  I’ll keep working on it, though, and when I get something more like Dogsquat and less like Ragnarök, I’ll put it up.

Couple days, maybe.

Be careful out there, and take a minute to think about how nice it is to be alive.

In Disposed

It’s Danny all-

Got a text from Dogsquat, who’s busy saving humanity as we speak, so he’s been unable to post. So he asked me to update you readers. Here’s what I woke up to today:

“Hey, Doc – if you get a chance, would you mind putting a post up on my blog saying “Dogsquat is saving lives and stamping out disease/fighting Huns/navel gazing and will return when he can” or something? Looks like i’ll be doing this crap for another week or so, then i’m going to sleep for another week. Don’t want to neglect the readers too badly. Thanks, man. I hope you’re doing ok.”

So now you know, he’s still around, just busy ATM. He’ll post again once he can.

Deti Nation

There is a lot of wisdom squirreled away in comment threads on blogs.  Sometimes I think it’s a shame that a particularly wise comment is tucked away, hidden from all but the most dedicated (or otherwise unoccupied) searcher.

Deti is the author of many gems like that.  Any time I see his name atop a comment I always read it carefully.  I don’t always agree – he’s more cynical (no doubt he’d define it as more realistic) than I am.  Even so, I have learned some things from him, and had nebulous thoughts focused by reading what he has to say.  Although our worldviews are not identical, we agree on an awful lot of stuff.

Somebody had started compiling his comments and putting them up on a blog called Deti Nation.  Go have a look.  Deti is smart, wise, and writes well.  Consider what he says carefully.

There’s about five more of you bastards out there I hope this happens to.

Deti, I hope this is okay with you.  If not, let me know and I’ll remove this post and the link.  And hound you to start your own blog again.

Super Basic Mindset

Listen, gents – I’m going to tell you a secret:

Most guys don’t think about how to get what they want.  They spend a lot of time wishing and fantasizing, but precious little planning.  Even fewer guys execute their plan.

This is especially true when it comes to women.  They “luck into” something – a woman ends up near them via the Machinations of The Universe, and (ohthankyouthankyouthankyouGod!) she actually likes him.  It’s like having DB Cooper’s bag of cash whistle out of the sky and smash through the roof every two or three years.  Surprising, a little scary, but extremely welcome, provided the roof damage isn’t too bad, and no pets or children were flattened by fifties.

Once that money disappears, they start hoping another robber with a penchant for parachutes does his thing…

If you have even a rudimentary idea of what women find attractive, you’re in better shape than most men.  Seriously – spend about four hours reading through some sphere blogs.  Check out Roosh’s forum for half an hour, and hunt down a few of Badger and Dannyfrom504’s field reports.  Read three posts each from VK’s Empire of Dirt, Gmac, and Fly Fresh and Young. Go find out who KrauserPUA is, and bask in that knowledge.  You don’t have to agree with those gentlemen – just read and retain.

Done?

Congrats, man.  You’ve got more accurate information than 60% of the men you see.  The deck is definitely stacked in your favor.  If the Almighty BootyLord sees fit to place another woman who is sort of sweet on you nearby (ohthankyouthankyouthankyouGod!), you’re going to have a better shot with her than…well, any girl you’ve ever met so far.

A lot of guys are content with that, relying on their theoretical knowledge and superior Wish Power to eke out a slightly better deal.  I do not understand this.  Hope is not a method, gents.  Don’t you want a say in how your life goes?  It’s so fucking simple:

Find a woman you think is attractive.  Walk up to her.  Start a conversation.  Roll your own, or parrot a routine you read about – doesn’t matter.  Do it at a bookstore, bar, shopping mall, coffeeshop – doesn’t matter.  Ask for her phone number, or if she wants to go across the street with you to do X – doesn’t matter.

Just to relieve the suspense – she’s going to say no.

Doesn’t matter – you’ve done something most men fear to do.  And it is scary the first bazillion times or so.  It also feels fucking awesome.  It’s like riding a bicycle the first time.  Fuck walking – you’re pedal powered, bitches!  Your world just got much, much bigger.

Here’s another secret:

Most guys lack the discipline/courage/drive to overcome that fear.  Women desire men who can do that, who have that power.

By walking up and talking to her, you’re giving her a gift she wants very much.  Don’t think for a minute that you’re bothering her – no matter what happens.    If you’re so nervous your tongue cements to the roof of your mouth and you emit a two squeaks and a guttural croak – well, she’s happy she made a guy tongue tied.  Validation!  Experiment with eye contact go wrong and you creepy-stalker weird her out?  She’ll be bragplaining to her girlfriends about it in 3…2….1…. enjoying the female bonding, support, and basking in the attention of her friends.  What girl doesn’t like that?

Maybe she’s got a boyfriend she loves and politely turns you down – she still feels desirable.  Maybe she is quite taken with you, and you two end up naked and sweaty…

Any way you slice it, you are adding to her life by walking up and talking to her.  In a sane world, she’d interrupt you as you begin to speak and say,”Thanks for coming over here.  I’m going to benefit from this.”

Last secret:

I’ve been flirting with girls as much as possible for about seven years now.  Granted, I’m not a PUA – I just like making attractive women laugh, and I get a kick out of running my mouth.  Not once in hundreds of instances have I suffered permanent negative consequences.  No woman has pepper sprayed me, or called the cops, or turned out to be some alien creature that laid eggs in my brain.  I’ve been turned down a lot.  I’ve been embarrassed by them, or embarrassed myself.  I’ve done shit that made me wince, like asking a woman if she needed a hand with her bag, then realizing she was a below-the-elbow amputee.  There are a couple other funny ones on this blog somewhere, too.

I gained something from every single interaction.  Embarrassment morphs into humor if you wait around awhile.  I’ve met some women that were enjoyable to be around, and some who taught me what I don’t want in a partner.  One of the women I met is bringing me some Egg McMuffins in an hour or so, and I’m supermonkeyhappy with her.

Find an attractive woman.  Walk over to her.  Start beating your gums.

You can’t lose.

On Favors

There is a school of thought out there that implies true Alpha Maledom means being entirely self-serving.  “Don’t do nothin’ for nobody,” they say.  “That shit is beta.  A true alpha doesn’t bother.  If he wants to do someone a favor, he has a follower do it for him to demonstrate higher value.  He’s already the CEO of Favors, Inc dontcha know.  He’s so alpha that if his phone was dead, he’d just direct a nearby platoon of bikini models (using hand-and-arm signals and popup flares, obviously) to carry out a better favor than anyone’s ever asked for.  Afterwards, one-in-ten of the victorious bikini models would be rewarded by the opportunity to vigorously fellate the True Alpha.”

There’s a bit of exaggeration there, but not much…

Before I start running my piehole, I should disclose the following:

I care if I’m happy.  I worry about making the most of things, and achieving my goals.  I have my own goofy code of honor I abide by.   Some folks think I’m nice.  Some think I’m a dick.  A few people hate my guts, and a few would donate endocrine organs if I needed them.  Most people on this planet don’t give a shit.

Is that Alpha?  Beta?

Is the answer useful enough to justify your skull-sweat?

Probably not.  Don’t pull a Donald Rumsfeld and throw the baby out with the Ba’ath water, though.  The alpha/beta/sigma/omega labels are useful conversational shorthand.  Using those terms as frameworks to hang ideas is beneficial.  There are limits, though.  Asking “What would a True Alpha do?” all the damn time is like asking a painting for advice.

With that bit of soapboxery in mind:

What is your decision process when somebody asks you for a favor?

For this thought experiment, imagine the favor would occupy four hours on your day off, and cost you an hour’s sleep.

Who did you imagine asking?  What gut reaction do you have?  How do you hope to interact with that person, one week after the favor?

Who do you wish would ask you for a favor?  What is your desired outcome with them?

Get brutally honest with yourself.  Channel your inner Spock.  Run your mental tongue over the notional teeth of your past experiences, and ask:

Is your hopeful interaction status post favor realistic?

Is it really?  Be alert for wishful thinking and self-deception.

The answer to this question is a useful way to judge the distance between who you are and who you want to be.

If you’ve pondered this stuff for a few minutes and find yourself smiling and joyful, then the rest of this missive isn’t for you.  You’ve got it down pat, and could probably teach me a thing or two.  How about spending your time helping me get the rest of this fucking crown molding up instead?  It’s kicking my ass.  Feel like swinging by Saturday afternoon?  I’ve got plenty of beer, a miter saw, and an endless stream of expletives for your entertainment.  Bring me a bottle of half-decent Scotch and I’ll teach you how to do Mozambique drills with my air nailer.

For the rest of us non-carpentry motherfuckers:

Favors can be tricky things.  Each favor asked of or received is an entry on the ledger of one’s self esteem.  A few mutual favors can move an acquaintance toward friendship.  Unrequited/unacknowledged favors can make enemies, even of family.

If you’re a dude who’s just feeling that Red Pill slide down your throat, here are some things about favors and women you should consider:

1. Do not expect a girl you like to respond like one of your buddies when you do her a favor.

This is a big sticking point for a lot of guys.  I’ve heard explanations ranging from “Women have no honor” to “women are not intelligent enough to be autonomous”.  You could earn a fistful of PhDs coming up with reasons.  It’s fun to argue about, but it’s not always practical, is it?

Sometimes, feelings of betrayal for unrequited favors metastasize into contempt for women in general.  I get it – I’ve been there.  One thing that helped me manage my contempt was a little perspective:

I’ve got a few friends I will drop whatever I’m doing to help.  When they say,”Dude, I’m in a fucking jam here.  Any way you could go and….” my priorities just got rearranged.  It’s “cost” me in ways both large and small.  I’ve been late to work and flaked on girls I was dating for them.  I’ve lent prized possessions to them – and given forgiveness when they broke something.  I quit a job I liked and moved to a strange city when one friend needed some help.  They ask (and receive) things from me that would get a girl I’ve known for 6 months laughed right the fuck out of my life.

Why?

Because they do the same dumb shit for me.  I’ve punched drunken, angry holes in their walls.  They’ve fed me when I was broke.  They’ve helped me move.  I bent an ambulance doing something dumb, called my friend at 0200, and he fixed it before my boss found out.  One guy kept me from bleeding to death on an Interesting Day several years ago.

See the context?  Those friendships work because we want the same things from each other.  I have their back because they have mine.  I sacrifice for them because they sacrifice for me – we’re trading with the same currency.  Apples to apples, etc ad nauseum.

Doing stuff like that for a woman you want to have sex with is barking up the wrong tree.  Sure, after a few years of building trust and looking out for each other she might lend you $1,000 or bail you out of jail.  She might be someone you can rely on in a pinch.  She might even marry you.

Her wanting to fuck you is an entirely different question.  Don’t attempt to purchase attraction with a fistfull of reliability.

2. Beauty and Habituation

Have you ever talked to a young woman on the phone, sight unseen, and noticed a subtle entitlement, an undercurrent of puzzlement and irritation if you don’t comply with her wishes immediately?  Does she get miffed if you say something like,”Sorry, I’m not going to do that because it’s against the rules?”

You can see it on forums and blog comments, too.  Some woman will say something you’d expect to hear from an enthusiastic paint-huffer, and be terribly hurt when people tell her to lay off the gold Krylon.

2:1 odds that girl is physically attractive.  Males have been bending the rules and giving her special treatment/attention her entire adult life.  It’s as natural to her as gravity.  Over the phone, though, she’s a mere voice.  On the internet, she is just her ideas and grammar.  Stripped of her loyal sidekicks Pretty Face and Smokin’ Body, the world is a different, harsher place.

This isn’t always obvious.  Girls Who Think figure it out quickly and compensate. Dumb girls, or those who dislike being without their Loyal Sidekicks stick to Facebook.  Pay attention and you’ll sometimes sense it though, like a thin haze of smoke long after the fire’s been extiguished.

Why is this important?

Because a non-thinking hot girl won’t even notice your effort if that’s all you’re bringing to the table.  In her world, what goes up comes down, water is wet, and men pay attention to her.  The currency of favors more inflated than Weimar Republic Papiermarks.

A thinking hot girl has seen your brand of bullshit so many times she knows what you’ll do next before you do.  There are five other interchangeable guys pining for her right now, offering the same. boring. crap.

3. Treating people how you’d like to be treated only matters to you.

Now, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have personal ethics, or strive to be honorable.  You’ve got to live with yourself, after all.  Those quiet, solitary moments before sleep will always be there.  Life is a lot nicer when you don’t dread that time.

But….

You’re not the Arbiter of All That’s Right And Good.

You might think it’s a nice gesture to clean my ambulance – you know, organize everything and get it all purdy ‘n stuff.  Gosh, you think, I wish someone would do something like that for me at my job!  It’d be great to show up after lunch and have everything A J Squared Away!

So you slave away, imagining how happy ol’ Dogsquat’s gonna be when he gets back on the truck…

Do it once, and I’ll tell you politely to never touch my shit again, ever.  Do it twice, and I will consider you to be potentially lethal to my patients, dangerous to me, arrogant, immoral, stupid, and a tragic waste of good carbon.  I’ll treat you that way from then on.

Why?  You’re just doing me a favor – treating me how you’d like to be treated!

But it’s not the way I want to be treated.  I have my own system.  I sometimes need stuff in a hurry.  I run out of something, people could die.  If you rearranged the drugs in my drug box to your satisfaction I couldn’t find things by touch anymore.  I could make a lethal mistake, or waste a bunch of time, or…you get the point.

You’d be an asshole.

Don’t be an asshole.

Treat people how they want to be treated.

 

 

 

So, when should you do a girl a favor?

Easy – whenever you want to.  Do it when you like the work, or want something to do, or want to spend time with her, or see her smile.  I do favors for people all the time – it’s fun to show off a bit (with panache and class, of course) and I like making people feel good.  I like teaching, and seeing people learn.

If you’re doing favors and hating it, or hoping it will change her in some way – knock that shit off.  Gratitude in that situation has a half-life shorter than most transuranic elements.

Smile politely and say,”No.”

Lots of times, the aftermath of that little statement is more fun than hours of toil, anyway.
Try it sometime.